Notes from Dr. Borkosky

“Well, we work for the county government, ” one of the men said. That's the trouble with time travel, you never can tell. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.- Andy Borowitz, Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the

problems." If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. They’re shaking something terrible.”, Sister: “Oh, we just got off of highway 119.”. Ten minutes later, the train moved off and resumed its slow pace, but within five minutes it had stopped again. Some annoying animal came into my camp last night and stole my bag of peanuts.

Cop: “Oh sister, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on! or Yo' Mama is so fat, it took the train conductor two hours before he could say all aboard. ", One day John decides to invite Mark on a trip on his private jet. Let's go west. “I’ve had it! They say every joke has a grain of truth.

You’re not accomplishing anything. She knew what to do. He wrote:”I would very much like to bring my dog with me. Funny travel quotes about trains, planes, automobiles, and the places they take us. As I stepped forward, she jokingly offered me one, but I passed. Birthdays and Specific Year Birthdays: 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, 65, 80, Anniversaries / Valentines Day / Saint Patricks / Mothers Day / Fathers Day / April Fools / Graduation / Halloween / Thanksgiving / Christmas / Easter / New Years, Men / Women / Marriage / Kids / Dates / Seniors / Grandparents, Doctor / Nurse / Dentist / Boss / Lawyer / Cop / Teacher / Geek / Engineer / Musician / Drummer. Remember: Wherever you go, there you are. A few minutes later, he knocks again.

"My advice for a 21-year-old: Don’t drink and vote." Although this is not necessarily true for your luggage. Have a good flight!".

Funny Jokes.

Travel And Tourist Joke 1 A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. A tramp knocks on the door of an inn known as St. George and the Dragon. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?”- Red Buttons, If you're going to America, bring your own food.- Fran Lebowitz, Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. Greyhound Bus Lines motto: “We Stop For Some Damn Thing Every 200 Yards.”. I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. boy flamingo is the one with a hat.

wind. A: A stamp. Although this is not necessarily true for your luggage. Suddenly his privates are cleaned thoroughly. But he made a typo, so instead of sending it to Joan Foster, he sent it to Jean Foster, the wife of a recently deceased priest. Enjoy. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can move aside to let him go to the bathroom.

What seems to be the problem?" Mark proceeds to the toilet and does his business. Remember: Wherever you go, there you are. All sorted from the best by our visitors. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" The Week asked its readers to come up with a better name to match “the ambience of the packed economy cabin.” “Eau the Humanity”. Terrible ratings. In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. the old woman says a bit proudly.

All the people in the gate area came to a completely quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a seeing eye dog! I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about. After a while the first engine broke down. Did you fly in the air, incredibly, like a bird? Mark asked anxiously... John replies "Well you activated the automatic tampon remover.". The flight attendant on our trip was handing out plastic pilot wings to some kids. He ran over to the woman and demanded, ” What was in your spray can? Grandpa! “Hold it, hold it,” he said to the men.

Funny Quotes. You must be a registered user to submit a joke. We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour. I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. The first time my mother flew, she was a nervous wreck. Boy, those French. They sent me a wake-up letter. I haven't been everywhere, but it's on my list. Where do math teachers go on vacation?

You know you're in India when you hear yourself telling your "The good news," he added, "is we weren't cruising at 30,000 feet.". ©Copyright 2016 Jokers Media, LLC - Jokerz and the Jokerz logo are registered trademarks of Jokerz Media, LLC, Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. He was a lunatic." Lighten up with these travel jokes and travel puns! If they see you struggling in the water, they say, “Are you happy with the decisions you’re making?” and give you a pamphlet for a yoga studio.

A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.

The Week asked its readers to come up with a better name to match “the ambience of the... A hotel minibar allows you to 
see into the future and find out what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.

“Could you give a poor man something to eat?” asks the... Halfway between New York City and Washington, D.C., the train's engine fell silent. I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. That is a courtesy, 
and no more.”.

“I’ll get you one.” As he walked to the back, the second guy explained, “We keep them in the storage room. Copyright Notice:All quotations by Greg Tamblyn and Melanie White are copyrighted, unique to this site, and may only be used with permission. 1. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on.

The best part about living in an RV? “It’s very bad if the drums stop.” “Why?” “When the drums stop, the bass solo begins.”. Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

Here’s a guide to American culture for Russians visiting the U.S., straight from Russian tour books: “Women play a greater role in business.

“Airline food is the tiniest food I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

U.S. Air is losing $2 million a day, making it the official airlines of the U.S. government.

If you're going to America, bring your own food. I found plenty of brochures but no maps. I don’t want to brag, but I do speak pig Latin; I mean, I’m not fluent, but I’m sure if I ever went there, I could get by. or “Hooray!” cried one of the tourists. "And what about Salt Lake City?" Funny Sayings. When she read it, she fainted. The driver felt so awful he began to cry. The landlady answers. Unauthorized copying protected by Copyscape. Why don't aliens visit our planet? CNN: 20 funniest travel quotes you’ve never heard That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and our flight attendant. “Sure,” said the first guy. But as the door closed, her face fell. You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. Humorous quotations that will make your next journey a real trip. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Fathers Day jokes: Daddy, Pops, whatever you call him, he deserves a good laugh. She checked in at the hotel and let the porter take her bags. Can’t you stop those drums?” he begs. So the flight attendant asked one of the passengers: “Would you like dinner?” The passenger replied: “What are my choices?” The flight attendant answered: “Yes or no. A. Mini-soda! Halfway between New York City and Washington, D.C., the train’s engine fell silent. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.

Cancellations and delays can put a damper on travel. See TOP 10 travel one liners.

The largest collection of travel one-line jokes in the world.

Funny Ronald Reagan quotes that favor the flavor of his self-deprecating wit. The Grandpa says, "I don't know, why? ", Four guys were in an airplane, which was going down in flames. At the end of my Southwest Airlines flight, the attendant announced,

3. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. To find out more see our.

"My father had a profound effect on me. the woman asks. The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?"

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